Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Take me here.

"And we'll spend each day like it's the last day of the rest of our lives."

Saturday, November 27, 2010

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Alone but never lonely.

This is where I always want to be. Whether it be alone or in company. I always want to be
here. Not on this blanket on the grass at the park but in this pleasantly content mental
space. Where the time is slow and the air is clear and my mind is at ease.
To be completely comfortable by myself and in my own skin-this is what life is all about.
To do exactly what you want to do when you want to do it whether anyone tags along or
not. I've been wanting to do this for so long and finally Matt is here from Seattle so that
brought me to do this. He's not even here. I drove all the way to Detroit Street even
though his phone died. I figured I could just ring the doorbell, which happened to be
broken. I'm just letting life happen. I'm watching the people walking and running with
strollers, bikes, dogs, with each other and alone. This is what life is all about. Just being.

Friday, November 19, 2010

So, I don't have a boyfriend or fiance or husband. I don't have a shit load of money. I don't have an amazing career. I don't own a house, or even rent one. I don't drive a cool and expensive car.
I have some money, I have an amazing family and awesome friends. My Honda kicks ass and there are far worse things than living with my parents. I have found happiness not because of the crap that I have but because of the appreciation I have for the world around me, and the people in my life.

Someone may be extremely successful, with all the money in the world, cars and a marriage and still be miserable. I don't have any of those things and I'm happy. I'm just happy to be alive. I'm just stoked to have two legs and two arms and my vision and my hearing. I'm so damn lucky that it's hard to NOT be happy. I think appreciation makes people happy, along with learning to love yourself. There is so many amazing beautiful things and sites to see in this world. There is so much great music, literature, film and art in the world. The world is an amazing thing and life is something so sacred that it is foolish not to love it. Life could be worse. Life is worse for many unfortunate people. We must make do with what we have. Life truly is what you make it. If you make it out to be a piece of shit worthless life, then you're a worthless piece of shit. If you make life out to be worth while and something truly beautiful, then you are a beautiful and valuable human being.

I could never be happy getting married. I could never be happy after having a crap load of money. I could never be happy once I get my dream job. I have to be happy first. I have to be happy in order to fall in love with someone. I have to be happy so that I can get my dream job. Happiness come first.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Short But Sweet

I think
about you
every time I drive by that crappy motel we stayed in when we were too drunk
to drive home. We stripped ourselves of all our fears and jumped naked on the bed.
We snacked on each other like sunflower seeds. You always did love those things.
You had some kind of obsession with salt. You always licked the tears off my face.
If anything became too salty, we always smiled through it all. Between our long drives
in your beat up truck and racing barefoot to the beach, there was never a moment
that wasn't exciting. Never a time when we weren't beaming. Our events of connection
play over and over in my head like a movie. I play it in slow motion to make it last
longer. I could spend a full twenty-four hour day with you and it still wouldn't be
enough. Time escaped out the windows we rolled down to let the wind in. That wind
carried us to the rose garden where you picked seventy-six roses to represent each day
we were together. It carried us to the ferris wheel on the pier where we laughed so hard
we cried. I could write a list. I remember it all. You kissed me. Good-bye. I was left
and you were leaving. We never said we were sad.

Postsecret inspires me.